The Life of A Ladybug

Hotter than Hell: Adam Levine and Reggie Bush

I couldn't choose between them - I just couldn't.  They are both smoking hot, for different reasons.

Smoking hot. Why?  Because he is skinny and can sing like a girl.  And because I think that, somewhere, deep down, he might actually be a girl - his songs sound like a girl wrote them.  He looks hot in a skinny pinstriped suit.  He plays the guitar.  I mean, what more do you need?

Smoking hot.  Because?  Oh, my freaking goodness!  Have you looked at him???  He is a damn chocolate bar!  He is meant to be nibbled and savored.  Look at his bottom lip - LOOK AT IT!!!  I dare you to say that you don't want to bite it.  Go ahead, say it.  YOU'RE A LIAR!!!  You lie!  You DO want to bite his bottom lip!!!  It's okay ... it's okay.  I do, too.

Hotter than Hell: David Cook

Seriously ... if you watch American Idol or ever read my other blog, I should not have to explain my choice.  My panties ... he can have 'em.  He rocks hard.  So hard.  So freakin' hard.  His name shall forever after be announced as David freakin' Cook.  He is made of awesome and sprinkled with love.

BTW - John Krasinski was in the running, for his squee-worthy playing of Jim Halpert, but no ... David Cook has it this week.

Hotter than Hell: Wentworth Miller, Christopher Meloni

I couldn't make up my mind this week.  I mean, seriously.

Look at this dude!  I don't even watch "Prison Break", okay?  I don't think I've ever seen anything with Wentworth Miller in it, except Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" video.  But dammit - I cannot deny that all-fired sexiness of this beautiful piece of man candy.  He is a sight for sore eyes ... a SIGHT for sore eyes, y'all!  Whew!  I'm telling you right now ... I would have no problem baking a cake with a file in it for that dude.  He is biteable.

So, okay, while I was reveling in the obvious charms of the pretend prisoner, it caused my mind to wander to the charms of the pretend cop.  Enter one Mr. Christopher Meloni.   Is he or is he not sex on a stick?  He has been both a pretend cop and a pretend prisoner.  Y'all know how tasty he was on "Oz", right?  Yum yum yum.  And while there is something vaguely sinister and threatening about every character he plays, there is no turning away from him onscreen.  He is delicious.

So there, for your consideration, are my Hotter than Hell picks this week.  Feel free to chime in on the bow-chicka-bow-bow factor of these dudes and any others!

Hotter than Hell: Taimak

In honor of Tonyette and Meloni, who noted Danny's resemblance to Taimak and in horror at the idea that Meloni's coworker has never seen The Last Dragon (How is that even possible???  This person was deprived of all sorts of cheesetastic, 80s fun and sexiness!  I am still praying that, one day, Taimak will appear spontaneously and offer to teach me some moves), I felt compelled to honor the hotness flashback that is Taimak.

He is yummilicious.  He was yummilicious as a dork who just so happened to be a karate king.  He was yummilicious when he was beat up and wet because Shonuff was drowning him in that vat of water in that industrial warehouse or whereever the heck it was that they were keeping Vanity.  He was yummiliciouser (new word!) when he popped out of that water, eyes ablazing, covered in "The Glow!"  (Who's the Master??? He IS!)  If I didn't already have a baby daddy, Taimak could be him, no questions asked.

Anyone who has not seen The Last Dragon (Shame on you!), run out and rent it TONIGHT!  Give yourself lovely dreams.

Hotter than Hell: Danny Tidwell

Boo, America!!!  BOOOOOO!!!  Okay, I must admit, I like Sabra.  She's really cute and seems fun and sweet and she's a wonderful dancer.  But for real??  Danny could dance circles around her - and those circles would be perfect pirouettes performed on his toes and they would meld into some kind of flying leap that would be done with such grace ... and he could be wearing a leather skirt-like contraption while doing it and I would still be breathless from the way his leg muscles would be rippling.

Have y'all seen him???  I mean, I'm sure he's younger than me.  He might not even like women - I have no idea.  But I'm telling y'all ... I like-a the Danny.  He is yum on a tall, young, muscular stick.  And his bottom lip looks perfectly biteable.

He is Hotter than Hell ... yes, indeed.

Hotter than Hell: Gary Dourdan and Michael Ealy

Y'all know y'all used to watch A Different World.  And y'all know y'all was in love with Shazzah.  Yes, you were - don't deny it!  That man grew up lovely, didn't he?

And while we're on the subject of fine men, we might as well include Michael Ealy.  'Cause that fool is fine.  Yes, indeed.

Hotter than Hell: Johnny Depp in "Cry Baby"

(Thanks for the nudge, Amber!)

Look at the prettiness of this man.  He is prettiful.  I have loved Johnny Depp forever and ten days, but in the wake of all the Hairspray premiere hoopla, I have been thinking a lot about John Waters movies.  (I'm not going to go into a rant about how absolutely sacriligeous I think this "new" version of Hairspray is going to be - at least not in this post.  I mean, John Travolta, as Edna???  The idea!  And was it even made in Baltimore???  Hello!  Just ... a cleaned-up, watered-down version ... it just ... it ... there are no words.)  And in thinking about John Waters movies, what would come to mind except Cry Baby?  And the unrivaled, straight-up prettiness that was one Johnny Depp.  Now, don't get me wrong ... Johnny is still hot damn as I type.  He has gotten hotter and hotter with age.  The pirate thing is working for him.  But look at him, y'all.  So young, innocent, supple ... so bad ass.  So biteable.  (sigh)  The things I would do to that man.

Ahem ... so, um, yeah ... young Johnny.  Pretty.  Hot.  Hotter than hell.

Hotter than Hell: Ami James

Um, yes indeed!!!  Yes, indeed!!!  I don't care how nasty his little temper can be (firing Kat wasn't all that cool, Ami) - Ami James is hella hot!  I am quite serious about saving my pennies and making the trek to Miami, just so I have the opportunity to get tatted by Ami.  And yes, I'm seriously thinking about having the tat be on my butt.  I don't know if I'll go through with it, but the next best thing will be having him embellish my already existing "tramp stamp" (I hate that name!  Oh, and for those of you who don't know - I have three tattoos).

I could just rub that bald head!  You know ... come to think of it ... he looks a lot like Chris Daughtry.  Bald, rugged, kind of dirty and slightly menacing looking.  Hmm ... I see that my crushes are starting to follow a pattern.

Hotter than Hell: Stuart Townsend

Okay, yes ... I know, I know!  I have blogged about Stuart Townsend before, but for real?  He's hot, y'all!  He's hot as all hell!  In fact, he is hotter than hell, hence this post.  Last night, I saw Queen of the Damned (for about the 50th time) on the SciFi channel and it just made me salivate at the yumminess of him.  Therefore, I must post this just so I can sing his pale, bloodthirsty praises.  (I'm sure that Stuart Townsend himself is not a vampire, however, he never looked hotter than he did as Lestat, so there you go.)

Hotter than Hell: Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Damn.  I mean, come on.  There is no reason why this dude should be playing Henry VIII.  There are portraits of Henry and Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks nothing like the heavily overweight redheaded king.  But he sure does steam up the screen.  That sexiness is almost worth being beheaded for.  Almost.

Thanks to the girls at Beaut.ie for the idea of Jonathan.